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Jennifer McCaskill
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Nesting is an option for same sex parents dealing with divorce

For same sex couples in New Jersey who share children, working out the details of a divorce can be challenging. One option is called nesting, and involves leaving the children in the family home with the parents rotating in and out on a schedule. That isn't a good fit for every divorcing couple, but it can be an option for some. 

One way to handle nesting is for parents to share a temporary apartment when they aren't staying in the family home. Sort of like having a roommate, only one you never spend any actual time with. The benefits of this approach is that kids get to stay in the environment they're comfortable in, without the need to change schools, make new friends, or carry their belongings from one parent's home to the other. 

The downside of nesting lies in the fact that both parents will now be sharing two homes, even though they won't be present at the same time. That's two sets of bills, two kitchens to clean, and a multitude of potential areas of conflict. Factor in new relationships, and the situation can become very volatile, very fast. 

For those in New Jersey who are considering nesting, it might be a good idea to decide on a limited timeline for the arrangement. Nesting can give kids of same sex parents a chance to come to terms with the divorce without the disruption of a move. When nesting goes on for too long, however, kids can begin to think the parents might get back together. 

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