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How “Conscious Uncoupling” Can Help in a Same-Sex Divorce

Same-sex couples who marry have the same ups and downs in their relationships as heterosexual couples — and no marriage is guaranteed to last forever.

Unfortunately, when same-sex couples split up, their divorces can come with some unexpected emotional challenges.

The Weight of a Community and History Can Affect the Breakup’s Direction

Many same-sex couples feel a pressure to stay together simply because they were denied the right to marry for so long. Unfair or not, they may feel that their divorce reflects badly on themselves and same-sex couples collectively.

Adding to their challenges, many same-sex couples inhabit a relatively small social circle within their respective communities. That can make it difficult to pick up and “move on” from their relationship without constantly running into their exes. Sometimes, friends and acquaintances may feel forced to choose sides.

How Can Conscious Uncoupling Make Things Easier?

At its core, conscious uncoupling means ending a marriage in a way that feels positive to both parties. Done right, it can set the tone for a very respectful and pleasant post-divorce relationship. For same-sex couples, that can ease the social consequences of their split.

How Do You Manage Conscious Uncoupling?

Here are some tips:

  • Be honest and clear about boundaries: You want to be friends, but you still need to give each other space. How much do you want to hear from each other? Do you still want to attend the same group events? Can you handle seeing each other with new partners?
  • Learn how to set aside your anger and be respectful: Sometimes two very nice people just shouldn’t be married to each other. Take a step back from the issues that broke you apart and learn to appreciate the positive qualities you each have (from a distance).
  • Consider mediation: Whatever sticking points you have in your divorce can usually be overcome through mediation if the two of you are committed to a healthy post-divorce relationship.

If you’re interested in learning more about divorce mediation for same-sex couples, please continue reviewing the information on our site.

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