Red Bank New Jersey Family Law Blog

For New Jersey seniors who are considering divorce, understanding the financial issues involved in the process is important. Dividing marital wealth is complicated, and when both spouses are at or beyond retirement age, those calculations become even more pressing. Alimony is one thing to consider, but there are many other issues that deserve attention in the early stages of a late-life divorce. 

Alimony is common in long-term marriages, especially when one partner has set aside his or her own career path to care for the needs of the family. However, the manner in which retirement savings are split is also impactful. Dividing retirement accounts can also bring steep tax penalties, which can reduce the value of those assets for both parties. 

You chose collaborative divorce because you liked the idea of a calm, rational way to get through a very difficult time in your life. You had hope this was a straightforward process that determined a path to an amicable settlement. But as the process played out, are you finding it increasingly frustrating to get the results you want? If so, maybe a collaborative divorce is not for you.

You agreed on a collaborative divorce believing that calmer heads would prevail and conclude with a mutually-satisfying arrangement for both involved. There was good reason for hope, many times a collaborative divorce works as a satisfying solution for divorce. But it is not uncommon that once you are in the collaborative process, certain items you are deliberating about can leave you more concerned than hopeful.

The first few holidays after a divorce are never easy, but there are steps that can make this time of year far more manageable and enjoyable. That's especially true for same-sex couples in New Jersey who share children. The holidays should always be focused on the children in any family, even when the parents are coming to terms with a new relationship as co-parents. 

One way to make things easier is to take the time to sit down and create a list of what makes the holidays special and meaningful. The list will differ from one person to the next but might include gratitude, service to others, religious expressions, time with loved ones, or even things like seeing a big light display, visiting Santa or decorating the house. Once that list is in place, think about how the traditions and practices the family used to share can be reinvented to keep those values in place, even with an altered family structure. 

For same sex couples in New Jersey who share children, working out the details of a divorce can be challenging. One option is called nesting, and involves leaving the children in the family home with the parents rotating in and out on a schedule. That isn't a good fit for every divorcing couple, but it can be an option for some. 

One way to handle nesting is for parents to share a temporary apartment when they aren't staying in the family home. Sort of like having a roommate, only one you never spend any actual time with. The benefits of this approach is that kids get to stay in the environment they're comfortable in, without the need to change schools, make new friends, or carry their belongings from one parent's home to the other.