Many married couples choose to remain living in the home together even after separating, although “separation” takes on a new meaning under these circumstances.
Is There Formal Separation in New Jersey?
Under legal separation, a couple remains married, at least temporarily, but lives apart. Although many states institutionalize this arrangement, New Jersey does not. Instead, couples are free to negotiate and sign their own separation agreement. Courts will enforce such agreements as long as they do not violate public policy by, for example, failing to prioritize the best interests of the children of the marriage. The agreement might include “live at home” terms.
Why Do Couples Choose In-Home Separation?
Here are some of the main reasons why couples choose in-home separation:
- It’s more expensive to maintain two households than to maintain only one.
- In-home separation gives each child easy access to both parents. It can maintain the stability that the children might otherwise lose.
- In-home separation might encourage eventual reconciliation more readily than if one spouse moved out.
- In-home separation can potentially establish that the couple’s differences are irreconcilable, which is New Jersey’s generic condition for divorce.
- Separation for 18 months is also grounds for a New Jersey divorce, and in-home separation can potentially satisfy the separation requirement.
- Remaining in the home can make it easier to maintain the property for eventual sale or refinancing.
There are many other possible reasons, depending on your circumstances and priorities.
Tips for Successful In-Home Separation in New Jersey
Here are some tips to minimize conflict during separation:
- Discuss expectations and try to be comprehensive. Is it OK to date during your separation, for example?
- Clearly define household responsibilities. Who will fix broken appliances, for example? Who will do the general cleaning? Of course, each spouse should pick up after themselves.
- Carefully consider how you will tell your children about the separation and how you will handle their resulting emotional issues.
- Establish how you will split household bills—heating and water, for instance.
- Handle child custody as if you were living in separate households. Respect each other’s custody rights even in the same home.
Brainstorm beforehand to make sure you think of everything. Your lawyer can definitely help here.
Characteristics of In-Home Separation
The following arrangements characterize most in-home separations:
- Suspension of conjugal relations;
- Spouses sleep in their own separate bedrooms;
- Each spouse has their own bank account and financial arrangements;
- Clear boundaries for shared spaces. You might establish time-sharing arrangements for certain spaces, such as the kitchen.
- Some areas of the home that are off-limits to one or the other spouse (the basement or the tool shed, for example).
You don’t need to memorialize all of these terms (suspension of conjugal relations, for example) in your separation agreement, but it’s probably a good idea to include at least some of them. Talk to your lawyer about this.
Terms of the Legal Separation Agreement
A legal separation agreement should include the following terms, at the very least:
- Alimony (spousal support)
- Child custody arrangements
- Specific parenting time and visitation schedules
- Child support payments
- Division of marital assets and debts during the separation period (who can drive the car, for example).
Your agreement should also tell you how to handle matters in the event of reconciliation or divorce. Although you don’t have to seek approval of your agreement from a family court, it might be a good idea. Court approval carries legal weight and minimizes the likelihood of future disputes. If the terms of the separation agreement work for you during separation and you later decide to divorce, the judge might use your separation as a model for the divorce decree.
Once you draft the separation agreement, both spouses should sign it in the presence of a notary public. Notarization makes your agreement easier to enforce.
Contact an Experienced Monmouth County Divorce Attorney at The Law Office of Jennifer J. McCaskill, LLC for Legal Advice
In-home separation is a challenging arrangement, even under the most amicable of circumstances. Executing a well-thought-out separation agreement and seeking the advice of an experienced family lawyer are two of the best ways to ensure that things go smoothly for you and for any children of your marriage.
To learn more and get the help you deserve, call our divorce & family law firm in Red Bank. NJ at (732) 747-1882 or contact us online today.
You can also visit our law firm at 157 Broad St #111, Red Bank, NJ 07701.